I am an artist. Though, for most of my life, I tried everything in my power not to be. I fought so hard to find an acceptable career path, one which would bring financial stability while also satisfying the creative urges I could never shake. For 20 years, I studied every discipline I had ever had any interest in: Music, Zoology, Physics, Engineering, Psychology, Chemistry, Biology, Culinary Arts, History, Education, Mathematics, Animation, Writing. However, no matter the direction I chose, I always ended up crashing. I was never truly fulfilled and the artist in me kept finding a way to force his way out. I’d let him loose for a while – just long enough to feel temporarily satisfied – then, I would lock him back in his box and return to my search for a “real” job. But in the end, after spending many years (and even more dollars) on academics, as I finally approached graduation, something inside me changed. I knew the instant I put my pencil down and turned in my last final exam that I had completed that chapter of my life. The time for learning was over, and the time for My Art had begun.
As a child I was completely obsessed with understanding The Way Things Work and the drawings of da Vinci’s impossible machines. I was mesmerized by Escher’s mind-bending etches and sketches, amusingly confused by Dali’s symbolic surrealism, drawn in to the whimsical worlds of Seuss and Silverstein, and blown away by the brilliant minds of Einstein and Tesla. I wanted so desperately to understand the way they thought and brought life to their creations. And dammit, I just wanted a treehouse or a hidden underground bunker, where I could hide away in a safe retreat from the outside world and create. But the treehouses always got torn down and my secret hideaway never came to fruition. I drew up my plans, kept them hidden, and never told anyone about my dream of digging out a bunker in the backyard with a secret entrance. I started it once, but at 10 years old, I didn’t get very far with only a shovel.
Now, many years older, as I fully embrace being an artist, I understand why it took me so long to get here – why I always put the artist back in his box. I wasn’t ready. I needed to learn to See and Understand the world. I had to go through pain, heartache, and get dragged along that rocky bottom, so I could truly empathize and connect with others – and truly come to know myself. Now, I am ready. I finally have the knowledge, bigger shovels, and the strength I need to bring my thoughts and visions to life. I’ve found a way to ensure that my treehouses can never be torn down again. I’m ready to return to that child I left behind so long ago and to his Awaiting Dream:
Awaiting Dream – 11” x 24” – Acrylic on Wood
Though my art, whichever form it may take, I hope to reconnect with my childhood, to finally share my vision of surreal worlds and impossible machines with others and once again see the world for all its beauty and wonder. I wish to make real connections with the people I meet along the way and to share a little happiness in my small corner of the world. I invite you into my dreams and hope to inspire you to follow yours.